All for an ego! Is it really worth it?

You broke up with her without really wanting to!
You just wanted to "check" reactions! You were sure that just hearing about the breakup, he would collapse psychologically. You thought she would feel weak and beg you. You thought you would "play" with her emotions, because she was in a difficult phase of life. You thought that her young age would "allow" you to put her in "moulds" and set your conditions every time. But, you "fell" out! He denied you even more! Not only did she not try to convince you even for a moment, but she also invested in herself and became the best version of herself.
She moved on, you didn't!
You were crying and waiting for a message. A message that, as it seemed, would never come! You see the one who makes the mistake has to make the move. She had dignity!
He respected your choice and did not pressure you. Leave with your head held high!
You are once again left alone!
And you know what? It's not your destiny's fault! It is your fault!
Waiting so long for what exactly? Should she approach you? How come; You regretted it and should have apologized to her! And you tell me with an apology would it change anything? Maybe it would change everything! Maybe, he would forgive you and you would be together again. But even if it didn't change, you would have a clear conscience! You would sleep soundly at night!
It is very important to understand our mistakes, accept them and admit them to others!
This is strength, not weakness! It's self-awareness! It has nothing to do with others! It's about us! To feel good about ourselves, to feel that we did our best!
I didn't tell you to go find her and talk to her in person! After all, you never wanted her, or you would be there with her. You couldn't stand a moment away from her! You would not upset her, nor would you bear to think that she is not well! Everything else is an excuse!
Love would prevail and leave no "room" for any selfishness!
But, you know what? You have no love neither for this girl nor for yourself! Because if you loved yourself and believed you were worthy, you wouldn't leave a person who adored you and who had accepted you just the way you were! Things are simple!
So, find them first with yourself and then see what you will do!
Just don't be too late, because maybe you will lose this person from your life for good!
Arthrography: Alexia Styliani Kanakari

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